I have stated in previous blog posts about how I have done a bunch of stuff in the past.

I am what many might call a “career shopper.” I have been a real estate agent, a personal trainer, a nutrition coach, a distributor for a direct sales company, a stenographer-in-training, etc. Oh, and I have Bachelor’s in History and a Master’s in Biblical Counseling.

The one thing that is common in all of these is that I have quit them all. One could even say that I failed.

I had all kinds of reasons for quitting. All those reasons seemed pretty legit when I told them to myself. I was convinced each and every time that I was making the right choice and that the next cool shiny thing was going to be THE most awesome career ever.

Do see the problem here?

Growing up, I was always told, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

No matter what career I went after, thinking the problem laid with not having the right career, I failed.

Why? Because the problem was with ME!!! I was the whole problem. It was my problems that kept me from being successful.

Stick with me here. There is wisdom to be gained from my failures.

I have had a dream to focus on writing for a very long time. That is what lit the fire within my soul.

Every time I had the inkling to start writing I would remember every other career I have gone after. I am reminded of all the money my husband and I have invested in these ventures only for the textbooks to be risers for my monitor.

Remembering all the past failures is paralyzing. 

Well, I’m writing to you right now. What changed?
 


 

I Admit To The Failures

It is what it is.

  • Yes, I absolutely failed in all these areas.
  • Yes, I wasted a butt ton of money.
  • Yes, I allowed my ego to get in the way and I did not seek professional coaching. I did not ask for help.
  • Yes, I did not own up to my weaknesses and ask for help.
  • Yes, I was lazy and spent too much time on social media, etc.

I confessed my failures to my husband and other people who invested in me only for me to throw it back in their faces. I confessed and I asked forgiveness.

I said, “I have royally messed up in XYZ. I have sinned against God, you, and myself. Please forgive me for squandering your money and your faith in me.”

I can’t change the past but I can bring it into the light so that it never happens again. Click To Tweet

I allow myself to feel all the emotions that go along with failing. It hurts. But there is healing when I allow the emotions to flow instead of stuffing them down.

Wallow for 3 seconds and then move on. That’s my motto now. 

Send the Reminders to Hell

Reminders of failure are just arrows shot from the pits of Hell.

Satan is the Father of Lies and He will use anything he can get his icy fingers on to keep me and you from fulfilling our destinies.

And trust me, reminding me of my past failures has been a very successful weapon against me. 

I wallowed in the lies that I was not worthy of good things because I had screwed up in all those other things before. I believed that since I messed up then there was no chance I could ever be successful. The success train had left the station and I missed my ride.

Those are all LIES.

In my path of healing, I am reminded that I am WORTHY and CAPABLE.

The very same people I hurt and failed, are the very ones who continue to speak LIFE over me. And THEY are the ones who have shown me how to send these lies straight to Hell.

I Am Not Mentored By My Past

It has taken me a long time to learn this one and it took a major mind switch to accept.

I am not mentored by my past. Click To Tweet

I am influenced by so many things in life. It can be a book, a TV show, a radio show, friends I keep, the church I attend, coaching I listen to, etc. Just about anything can influence how I live my life.

The amazing thing is that I can control how all these things influence me. I actually do have a say in this. I can choose whether or not to read that book or to watch that TV show or movie. I can also choose my friends.

If something is not helping me move towards my success then I can and will take that thing out of my life so that it can no longer influence me. It all comes down to choice.

There is an influence that sneaks in under the radar and this influence is probably the most powerful. Learning about this was a game changer for me.

My Past.

I was allowing my past failures and mistakes to influence my current actions. I was allowing those disappointments to keep me from moving forward.

By listening to the mentor of my past I was allowing it to influence me and convince me that I was not capable of success.

If I want different results, maybe I should do things differently!! *Mind Blown*

When I am haunted by the failures of my past, I tell myself that I am not mentored by my past. All those mistakes and failures are in the past where they will stay. I am doing something new.

When I am mentored by my past I am allowing my past mistakes to determine my future. Click To Tweet

Feedback, not Failure

A big part of moving forward is that I remind myself that there actually are no failures.

There’s just feedback.

  • Did I make poor choices?
  • How can I learn from those mistakes?
  • Where did I mess up?
  • What could I have done differently?

This is all very useful feedback that can make my future completely different.

It is not a failure. It is merely an experience that I can learn from and then change how I live now.

Feedback, not Failure. Click To Tweet

Accountability 

Finally, I keep accountability.

One huge mistake I made in the past is that I did not set up accountability for myself. I thought I was completely capable of doing all this by myself. My ego kept me on an island and that allowed me to go down a path of destruction. I silenced the good influencers in my life and I turned up the volume of the poor influencers.

Now, I keep a team of people who are willing to speak into my life and help me turn back on the right path when I’m veering off.

When my past failures want to creep back in and distract me I know I have a team of people who will help me recalibrate and get back on the right path.

While there have been a number of mind switches that have changed my life, I am still very human and I can’t do this all by myself. My accountability team keeps me humble and moving in the direction I need to go.

Ego kept me an island, humility built me a team. Click To Tweet

 

 


 

 

Stock Image Credit:
Luke Matthews

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8 comments on “What To Do When Your Past Failures Keep Haunting You”

  1. I really enjoyed this post. I too can be easily overcome by past failures. It’s amazing how Satan can use those failures against us again and again, replaying them like a movie and making us think we’re no good. In reality, God wants us to learn from those failures and keep working for him. Thanks for the reminder!

  2. This is so heartfelt. I know what you mean. The first time I had a business was for an IBO. I was doing well, but people starting dropping off and I was losing my cool. I went back to work determined to get somewhere and sit down because chasing dreams were too costly (money wise) I landed a 9-5 job that would leave me to misery and eventually quit. I’m ready to leave my failures in the past and grind toward a future. Thank you for your honesty!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I learnt a lot and I have also allowed my past failures and insecurities stop me from pushing forward and doing the things I need to do. God’s grace and mercy have literally saved from myself

  4. Good reminders to keep moving forward! We all experience trials, but it’s our ability to learn from our past, be honest with ourselves, and look always to God for the strength we need daily to move on. Thanks for sharing!

  5. I can SO relate and have probably experienced nearly every one of the emotions and self-defeating talk you have mentioned or described. One of the quotes I now try to keep in mind is that our failures of the past do not have to dictate our future, nor is there room in our future for those failures. But we have to be willing to let go and move on, and not carry those burdens around with us.

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