There are seasons when my emotions are so raw that I don’t know if I can even get the words down on paper.
The emotions are such that I just know that no one would ever want to read them because doing so would invite them to an extremely uncomfortable place.
I don’t want others to come into that place of discomfort and pain. That is my own personal space and perhaps in some ways, I am not proud of the raw and weak.
I tell myself that I need to lift people up and hold them up on a pedestal. I need to be their cheerleader and scream from the rooftops, “You rock! You are awesome! You CAN do this. You WILL do this.”
I tell myself that I need to be strong like a mountain.
Who wants to read the words of a mere dirt mound that flattens with the softest of breeze?
I am in a dark cave and I want someone to come sit with me and hear my words. But, I would never want anyone to be in this darkness. I don’t want to be in this darkness.
I am comforted by the presence of my Savior. He goes with me into the cave. He’s there when it’s dark and He is there when it is light. It is HIM who shines through the hole in the roof and shows me how to leave. He is the one who HOLDS me when I have no words to write or say.
But, there are times when I want to share with people.
I need to process through writing and just like any other person, I want to be heard and I want to be understood.
I think that my feelings are just too ugly to share with others and so I won’t write.
Then I am reminded that this whole writing thing is for ME, first and foremost. This is how I process the HOT MESS that is my mind. Writing makes this HOT MESS into a much more functional warm mess.
So, I write.
I write everything….no matter how painful or raw it is. I grab those emotions and bring them to the surface through the power of words.
I write from a place of pain and struggle. I write as a girl who yearns for her HOME.
In a moment of insane courage and calling, I share my raw writings.
And guess what?
People read my words and they don’t run away! They actually draw closer. They start to slowly tiptoe into the cave with me.
I start to hear, “Me too!” and “I’m not alone?”
No. Oh my, no. You are not alone. I thought I was alone.
I am always reminded in these situations that I should embrace my pain and use it to fuel my writing.
Instead of running from the rawness, I lean in and allow myself to feel fully and then use that to fuel my words. And in so doing I am reaching out.
By going inward, I am, in reality, going outward. Click To Tweet
It’s just that this place, by its very nature, is a place that wants to be alone and is convinced that no one understands. But, the truth is that more people are in that place with me than I originally see.
By writing about it I am bringing validation to this place.
I make this place very real for me and for others. And by making it real I am creating a community.
Instead, like I said before, I lean into those feelings and I use them to fuel my writing. I don’t allow the HARD to make me stop or give up on my awesomeness.
Yes, this is hard. Sometimes I write through the tears. Can you tell? Those are the days when I force myself to write through the pain.
And most of the time, it is on those days that I am the most authentic and other people relate.
Moral of the Story:
We write from and through the pain. We use our pain to fuel our words and in so doing we share our souls. In sharing our souls we are authentic and vulnerable.
Our readers see exactly WHO we are.
The most peaceful life is the transparent life. Click To Tweet
Many of the most famous writers and artists are the ones who didn’t consider their pain to be a liability but instead to be a muse for their work.
We should do the same.
Being human means there will be pain. It is time to stop avoiding it and instead using it for good.
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