Relationships are built on transparency and vulnerability. It is so easy in this time of blogging and social media to always put on your best face and not open the gates to your heart and soul. I have spent way too long locked up, not letting anyone in. I want to break down those walls and let you in. For that reason, I am starting a series of posts that I’m calling “Journal Entry.” In these posts, I will share directly from my journal, where I write my 1000 Words A Day. It will be a copy and paste with no editing or cleaning up.
There are days when I look in the mirror and sigh. I see that frumpy and dumpy homeschooling housewife. I think of all the things I have not accomplished.
- Am I thin yet?
- Have I run that marathon?
- Wrote that book?
- Had more children?
- Made more money?
- Prepared those perfectly healthy meals?
- Kept a perfectly tidy house?
- Read all those books?
The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO.
I take a deep breath as I stare in the mirror and then I feel an arm come around my waist and I hear a sweet whisper of “I Love You.” I enjoy the moment. I give in. I then hear in my soul, “You ARE Enough!” It is then that I know that yes, I AM enough. There is a lot I have not accomplished, but there is so much more that I have — things of eternal value. I look away and I see my only son giggling as he reads his favorite books. I hear, “Hey Mom! Listen to this!!” We laugh together on the couch.
Then we gather at the table for dinner. The two loves of my life are eating and laughing. Even the dog is content as she rolls around on the carpet. We are happy. We are content.
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At bedtime, I can’t help but smile big as I walk by my son’s room and I see him and his Dad reading Scripture together. They both look up and smile.
After a little TV time with my Sweetheart, I slip into my boy’s room and I kiss his sleeping head — like I have every night since he was born–almost nine years now. I whisper, “I Love You.” In that place between reality and dreams, he quietly says “I love you too. You are the best Mom EVER.”
My soul smiles as I go to bed. I take off my glasses and slip into bed. As I feel strong arms come around my waist again and we fall asleep in unison, I know. I am not perfect. But, I AM enough.
I sleep well.
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