Guest Posting: Real Life Dreamers, Part 1

Dreamers are a special breed of people and I am so happy to be one of them. It is fun to dream and it is even more fun to work hard to make those dreams come true. Are you one of the dreamers? Find out what I am doing about my dreams.


Today, I have the pleasure to be guest posting over at The Adventures Ahead. We are discussing being dreamers and how we go hard after our dreams. This topic is near and dear to my heart and I had so much fun writing this post. Hop on over there, read, and let us know all about YOUR dreams.

Hop on over to Real Life Dreamers, Part 1 and check out what I have to say about being a dreamer.

“A dreamer will not stop having that dream until it has been fulfilled” - J. Wilson Click To Tweet

Always in Your Corner!



Dreamers are a special breed of people and I am so happy to be one of them. It is fun to dream and it is even more fun to work hard to make those dreams come true. Are you one of the dreamers? Find out what I am doing about my dreams.


Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

How To Get Your Vision And Purpose In Writing Back

Do you ever have those days or weeks or months when you are struggling to stay focused?

Do you remember a time when you your vision and purpose for your writing was so crystal clear that it compelled you to move forward at a rapid pace? You couldn’t help constantly thinking about what to write next. Every detail was a pleasure to complete.

And then, slowly over time, you notice your desire to write waning.

The ideas just aren’t coming to you like they once did. You try to write each day but, bit by bit, little things get in the way and notice that days can go by without any writing. You miss the writing at first but then one day, you notice this feeling that, if you are honest, you don’t really want to write after all. You’d rather just watch Netflix. There is always tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and it is just a repeat of yesterday. Your idea notebook sits on the desk, collecting dust, a memorial to another lost dream.

The fog in your brain is so thick that it can be likened to the London Fog. It is thick and poisonous and soul-sucking.

You remember there was once a day of focus and vision and passion. You remember how awesome it felt to jump out of bed each morning with purpose.

How can you get that vision and purpose back? Is it even possible to get that vision and purpose back?

Here is what I have found that works.

Slow Down

It is when I am allowing the busyness of every day living to overwhelm me that I lose focus. It is like my mind is in a constant spin cycle that never slows down. Day to day tasks just keep swirling at an ever-increasing speed and there is no room or time to think big thoughts or to dream. There is no room for the magic that makes dreams come true.

It is then that I need to just slow down. Unnecessary things need to be taken out of my schedule to allow the space in my mind to start operating on the plane where dreams exist instead of just being in survival mode.

It is a stressed out and over-tasked mind that loses its ability to dream. Click To Tweet



This is part of the slowing down process.

If you are not slowing down there is no time or space to sit still long enough to meditate and/or pray. And it is in the space of meditation and prayer where the dreams are born.

When I feel the vision and purpose waning I ask myself when was the last time that I spent any amount of time in prayer or meditation. And just about every single time, I can see that the busyness of life has brought me to the point of not slowing down long enough to allow for prayer. It’s sad but it’s true.

When I slow down and make prayer a priority the vision always comes back with a burning passion.

Self Care 

It is so easy for me to always put my family before myself.

But, here’s the thing.

When I am in that constant spin cycle of taking care of my house and family and others, I forget to take care of myself. When I forget to take care of myself for too long I run out of steam. And that’s when I start to break down. My grasp on WHO I am and what I want to accomplish is lost in the wind. That’s when I lose my passion and my vision for my own goals and dreams.

To regain the passion and vision, I need to make my own self-care a priority. I acknowledge that I am important to my family and they need a full version of me available to them. And I full version of ME has her own goals and vision and dreams.

Self-care is going to be different for everyone.

What does it look like for me?

I am currently training for my first full marathon. I love to run, be outside, and be alone. Running provides all of those things. 

One night a week I get to “clock out” and do what I want to do while my husband and son do their own thing for the evening.

Reading. I love to read and the amount of reading I do is also a direct reflection of how “busy” I am. Taking the time to sit down and read a good book means I am slowing down and making myself a priority. It also expands my thinking and my ability to dream.

Getting plenty of sleep. When I am tired I have no desire to go after anything of substance.

Make Writing a Priority

When the vision is falling apart there is another symptom that is evident just about every time: I stop writing every day. Chores, homeschool, pointless tasks, and dare I say, social media (*cough cough*) become far more important than writing and they fill up all the time in the day. There just isn’t any time left in the day to write!! At least, that’s what I tell myself.

If I only wrote when the vision or inspiration is strong then I quite possibly would only write a few days out of the year. That’s the gosh honest truth.

If my dream is to be a writer then I just need to write every day. Writing MUST be a priority whether I feel like it or not.

That’s why I always have the Write 1000 Words a Day Challenge up on the wall. It sure does stink when a long streak comes to a screeching halt and I need to start the streak all over again.

I am human. I have seasons when I don’t write my 1000 Words A day. It happens to everyone. But, I know how to resurrect this habit pretty quickly. And when I make writing a priority I remember how much I love it pretty quickly. The fog starts lifting and the ideas start to flow.

What’s the best way to get the best writing ideas? START WRITING!!! Click To Tweet

Remind Myself of the WHY with the FIVE WHY’s

Sometimes it just takes a little mental exercise to remind myself of why I want to do this in the first place.

This is when I bring in the FIVE WHY’S

This is the exercise where you ask yourself WHY you want to do something and you keep asking yourself the same question until you have gone five levels deep. It is there that the true WHY lives. That is where the true vision and passion can be recovered again.

Find the WHY that will make you CRY. Click To Tweet

Here is a basic example of the FIVE WHY’s that has to do with weight loss.

Why am I on this journey?
I want to lose fat.

Why do I want to lose fat?
Because I want to fit into a smaller size of pants.

But why do I want to fit into a smaller size of pants?
Because when I’m wearing smaller pants, I think I’ll look better.

But why do I want to look better?
Because when I look good, I feel good about myself.

But why do I want to feel good about myself?
Because when I feel good about myself, I’m more assertive and confident.

But why do I want to be more assertive and confident?
Because when I’m more assertive and confident, I’m in control and better able to get what I want out of life.

To do the Five Why’s means you have to be willing to get raw and vulnerable with yourself. It requires some deep soul work. You will be so glad when it’s done because you will have, hopefully, cemented WHY you are doing all this and that WHY will always be there to fuel your passion.

Don’t be dismayed if you veer off course. What matters is that you get back on track and make forward progress. Click To Tweet



Stock Photo Credit:
Heidi Sandstrom.

Motivation And How To Catch It


‘Motivation’ has got to be the number one word I hear when discussing fitness and exercise and writing with people.

“I just don’t seem to have much motivation.”

“You most definitely have more motivation than I do.”

“How do I get more motivation so I can actually get this done?”

Today, we will be discussing five easy steps you can take to gain more motivation to get up off that couch and start exercising or getting those words written.


……………………. *crickets*………………….

Nope. Sorry, folks. There is no magic formula for getting more motivation. I sure wish there were one because I bet I could make a million dollars or more if I could bottle it up and sell it.

The truth is that motivation is not an outside force.

It is not something that you acquire. It is not a trait that just a select, elite group of people have. It is not reserved for athletes and those with the willpower of steel. Motivation is not something you can buy online or in a bottle.

The truth is that each and every person has the potential to have amazing motivation. The level of motivation you have is based on how much you BELIEVE you have. I know, that sounds all touchy-feely. It is true. You don’t have any motivation to exercise or write because you don’t believe or think you have it.

What do you do then?

How do you get the oomph to get things done when you REALLY don’t feel like it?

Well, I’m going to borrow a cliche here…you ‘fake it till you make it.’

The best thing to do to develop motivation is to just do what you know you need to do (ex. eat right, exercise, write 1000 words a day, etc) despite how you feel. You dive head first into what your brain knows is best. You follow your logic and not your feelings. It will stink at first because you will have to fight relentlessly against those strong urgings to quit or not even start. Take your feelings or lack of motivation out of it.

You know you have to exercise and eat better. You know you have to actually write if you want to ever get a book published. Then do it!!! Forget that little voice saying, ” *Whine* But, I have no motivation!”

“SILENCE!! Foul Beast!”

You won’t ever get anywhere if you depend on the elusive motivation.

It comes and goes like the wind. Do what you KNOW you must do to make a change.

And guess what?

You start seeing that a change is happening. Getting up each morning and following all the positive habits will get easier. And the next thing you know you actually have the motivation to keep going!!

Voila!! Where did that come from?! YOU made it happen by not falling victim to your feelings. You took control.

Motivation can be yours. Don't wait for it to come to you. Make the choice to make it happen. Click To Tweet





Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

In Praise of Stillness

When I first started writing this post I started to entitle it, “In Praise of Slow,” but then I remembered that title was already taken. I remembered where I saw that title was from an extremely good TED talk by Carl Honore. You can see that TED talk over here and I highly recommend that you do. He discusses how the US and the rest of the world are joining “The Cult of Speed” and he invites all of us to slow down our lives.

I am finding this to be very true in my own life.

For a long time, I found that I judged my own value and worth by how busy I stayed. It could be busy at home, busy at work, busy at school, or busy at church. I wanted to be more and more and more busy to fill my time. I thought to be successful was to have every minute accounted for and then figuring out how to fit even more into that space.

And then I came to a jarring realization.

I was seeking ‘busy’ because slowing down would require I think and ponder and consider. Listening would require I go places in my mind and heart that I’ve closed up for a very long time. I didn’t want to go there. Who really wants to go there? I stayed busy so I wouldn’t have to ask myself the hard questions.

Over the last year or so I have been finding myself going in the opposite direction. Instead of seeking busy, I am seeking stillness.

I do the same things that I used to do. I still keep the house the same and run our homeschool like I always did. Exercise is on daily docket and my work projects are growing. But, the difference is that I am not rushing from one the thing to the next. There are checklists and goals aplenty but I consider my time and my effort a lot more closely. I don’t jump on opportunities to fill my time. I pray and consider my family before I commit.

I should pause for a moment to explain the difference between “good stillness (or slowness)” and “bad stillness.”

I believe it is because of the “bad stillness” that people, including me, find it hard to slow down. We think that slowing down means being lazy and non-productive. There is a good reason for that but it doesn’t have to be true. You can, indeed, slow down and be just as productive and dare I say, more productive than before. That is the “good stillness” and slowness.

About three years ago, my family moved to a new city.

It was a good but jarring move. We moved from the country to a major metropolitan area and we moved knowing only one other family. Throw in homeschooling and you get a recipe for a lot of stillness. Yes, we were all intentional about getting out there, meeting new people, and getting involved. It just takes time to find your tribe.

Unfortunately, I did not embrace the gift of stillness as much right after that move. I felt unproductive and lazy and longed to be plugged in and busy. Honestly, I was running away from my own thoughts. I was seeking distraction.

This is where to story changes.

I was seeking distraction that did not come fast enough. That forced me to do the soul work that so desperately needed to be done. It was done kicking and screaming but it was done nonetheless.

And then the unexpected happened.

The stillness I was trying to avoid for so long became what I was seeking all along. Click To Tweet

I learned I shouldn’t jump on opportunities because they are there but I should prayerfully consider how my time can be best used. It was being able to strategically choose activities that made all the difference.

I can give a much better “YES” that is not tired but willing, able, and excited.

Where do I say YES?


In my busy time, I rarely sat down to read. I wouldn’t even slow down enough to enjoy a lighthearted novel.

Now I seek out a time of reading every day and I attempt to vary my reading with fiction, non-fiction, leadership, and self-development books. If I don’t take my reading time each day then I know that something needs to give in my schedule. I need my reading time for growth and stillness.

 Running – Marathon

Believe it or not, running is very much a part of my dedication to stillness. While I am not physically still, I have found that running calms my mind. And when I have a calm mind I can allow space for the big, fun, and perhaps even, scary thoughts to grow. Since I am training for a marathon I have plenty of time to think those thoughts and to listen to audiobooks.

Service At Church

Serving at church is non-negotiable. By giving my better YES to my church I am giving back to those who have loved and supported me and helped me to grow in my walk with my Savior.

Homeschool Tutoring

Because I am not running around like crazy I am able to say YES to being a tutor in my son’s homeschool group. I am able to pour myself even more into my son’s education all while pouring into other kids as well. And I get an education right alongside them as well.

Son’s Activities

Finally, I am able to be available for my son and his activities. I was available when I was going full force after busy but with the focus on stillness, I am can be fully available. Being available in mind and in the body allows engagement and involvement instead of merely chauffering around to all the numerous activities. 

Over the last year, I have learned that stillness is really just a state of mind.

It is not necessarily literally being still and quiet all the time. While being still and quiet is pretty awesome at times, this state of mind means being intentional about your activities. I may look busy from the outside but my mind is still because everything is well considered first. Gone are the days of busy.

How do you seek stillness in your life?






Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Don’t Rush Your Writing

Recently I was pondering how my writing has changed over the years and over the last few months.

When I was a much younger writer I was in such a hurry all the time. I remember how the ideas would flood my mind and I would feverishly write them down so they wouldn’t be lost forever.

I remember the passion and the fervor.

I also remember how quickly I had to get my ideas written up in blog posts and published. I would often get an idea, write it up right there in WordPress, proofread immediately, and then hit PUBLISH. This took all of two to three hours, at most. 

It was almost like I had to write this awesome idea right then and there or else it would be lost forever. And Lord knows, if one of my ideas is lost then the whole world missed out on something amazing. (** wink **)

I look back on those old blogs and I can see and sense the haste at which I wrote them.

That writing was forced.

There was no discipline or patience.

It is no wonder I burned out within a few short months every single time I tried this writing thing leaving me unfulfilled and passionless.

I have grown and matured since publishing those hasty and rushed blogs.

My love for writing has grown deeper and wider.

There are two main lessons I have learned here:

Write first for me.

In previous attempts, I was so focused on getting my writing out into the world that I pushed it out too soon. There was no time for the words and ideas to mature.

And then there came a time that out of desperation, I started to write for no one but myself. I have no idea how many words I wrote just trying to keep my head above the waters of depression. I just know it was a ton. I probably have a book in there somewhere.

The writing was my therapy. And as I went through that therapy I learned to slow down. I learned to take my time as I wrote out my thoughts and climbed out of that pit.

I learned you can't rush the healing process and you can't rush the writing process either. Click To Tweet

I wrote first for myself.

I found my voice.

And I learned how to be vulnerable and authentic in that unique voice.

I found ME.

And in so doing, I learned…

Don’t Rush the Process

Writing is a process. It is not a once and done thing. How arrogant was I to think that I could spew out words and immediately hit publish and it is quality, truthful, honest, and vulnerable?

Want to know my new process?

  • The birth of a new idea. 
  • Write idea down in writer’s notebook.
  • Ponder the idea. Stew over it.
  • Write about the idea in 1000 words a day writing session.
  • Write a blog post on the idea.
  • Let blog post sit for at least a day.
  • Proofread
  • Add other blog post essentials (pictures, upgrades, etc.)

What was once a feverish couple hour process has become a multiple day project.

My writing process has matured and so my writing is getting the time and respect it deserves.

And in so doing readers are getting the respect they deserve because they are getting a complete ME through my words.

Slow down. Don’t rush.

Give the ideas the time they need to mature and grow.

Write Daily. Write for yourself first.

Respect your audience by giving them your best self and best writing. Click To Tweet

And no matter what….

Don’t give up!





Stock Image Credit:
Andy Beales

The Life Cycle of a Blog Post

From a Dreamy, Flighty, INFJ Writer

Imagine this scene….I shall call it the Good L’il Blogger Scene

I have my cup of coffee and I sit down at my computer. Beside me is my bullet journal busting at the seams with blog post ideas and titles.

I open my journal and start to fill in my editorial calendar with months worth of post ideas. Each post has its pic and opt-in planned ahead of time and everything is so perfectly planned out.

With everything perfectly planned out and looking so pretty and satisfying, I open up my Word Processor and get to writing the first blog post on the list.

I get the post written out. I let it marinate for a few hours or overnight. Then I get it proofread and formatted in WordPress. I create my perfectly planned out vertical pinnable image and make sure my opt-in fits with that particular post and that the embedded form is just right.

When all the boxes are checked off, I schedule the post for some date way in the future. Of course, because I have this so well planned that I can write for a month or more ahead of time.

I sigh a sigh of pleasure for a job well done and then move on to the next blog post on my list.

*Belly Aching Laughter*


One can only wish that is the true scenario.

I know there are bloggers out there that absolutely operate like that and I applaud them. I don’t judge. I glean wisdom from them and have a ton of respect for their focus and organization. I know my weaknesses so I learn where I can.

But, that is not my personality. My personality is more scattered and dreamy. My husband and I joke that I basically live up in the clouds and that he (just like the blogger mentioned above) holds the rope that keeps me from completely floating away.

Here is the life cycle of my blog posts….from a dreamy, flighty, INFJ writer

I get up in the morning and get the husband out the door.

I have my devotional time before the boy wakes up.

Once the boy wakes up, he and I have about 30 minutes of what we call “Coaching Time.” As a family, we follow our personal coach, Dani Johnson, and we want our son to develop the habit of always learning and always receiving coaching. (link)

After Coaching Time, he gets settled in his homeschool assignments and I sit down at my desk or on the couch. Don’t forget the cup of coffee. The coffee might be the only thing that is consistent between these two blogger scenarios.

I open my current writing document in Microsoft Word. I keep a running document where I do all my writing. No, I do not have separate documents for each post or each topic or whatever. It allllll goes in one place. Lord knows, I only need one piece of writing to keep up with.

When the current writing document hits about 100 pages, I will file it away and start another one. I have lost count of how many of these documents I’ve created. They are all saved in my Dropbox…I think…somewhere.

I start writing at the bottom of the page where I last left off. I just write.

I process what I have to do that day.

I process any thoughts and emotions I’m feeling at the time.


It gets the cobwebs out my head. Doing this helps me think more clearly. I’m sure the coffee helps too.

I also turn on my favorite Pandora Station….David Crowder Radio.

At some point, my writing will shift from a stream of consciousness about my day to being more focused on blogging topics.

Well, who am fooling?

Actually, sometimes it shifts to being more focused and sometimes it never shifts.

Sometimes it shifts to being extremely raw as I pour my soul onto the paper and there is no real bloggable material to be seen.

That’s alright. I am totally okay with that.

After writing at least 1000 words I feel myself out.

Am I in a good place to stop writing or is there more business that needs to be handled?

Some days I just stop and move on to the next task and some days I know there is a lot that needs to happen on this page. On those days I just keep writing.

Writing…That’s why I started this whole thing, to begin with. If I am ever forgetting the writing and replacing with the business side of blogging then I need to just step back.

I check the Editorial Calendar.

(Yes, I do have one of those. See….I do learn from those more organized than I.)

If there is a post listed on the list that I haven’t formatted and scheduled, I go and find the text for the said post somewhere in my giant writing document. I am forever grateful to the “Find” feature in Word. Then I proceed to process that blog post complete with pinnable images and opt-in forms.

BUT, there are days when I there are no unprocessed posts on the list.

OH NO! What’s a girl to do?! Crap.

Fear not, fearless writer.

Remember how I write every day?

I just start skimming through my giant document. I look through either the current one or past ones. I skim until something catches my eye and I think, “Ooooo….that’s a good one. How did I forget about that one?”

Crisis averted. I plug the post in my calendar and proceed as usual.

Sometimes I will even skim until I have material for several posts.

Then I will copy and paste the text into WordPress. I clean it up, proofread, format, and off we go.

There are plenty of days when I am so unsure what to write. I feel like a desert or a dried up well. And what I have found is that it is usually because there is something I need to figure out and process. All the more reason that I need to be writing.

I write no matter what. And in so doing, I will ALWAYS have content. ALWAYS. Click To Tweet

And when I find the lost blog posts in the sea of words I am often reminded of other ideas that lead to more writing and more blog posts.

Writing 1000 words a day has ensured a steady stream of content AND a healthier emotional state. (links)

Perhaps, this method of writing for your blog makes you twitch a little bit. HA! That’s totally cool. No judgment. I twitch at all the organized methods of some bloggers.

But, It works for me.

And we can all learn from each other, right?



Stock Image Credit:

Billy Huynh“display: inline-block; padding: 2px 3px;”>Mahir Uysal

Beating Writer’s Block: There Is Always Something To Write About

In the blogging world, we spend so much time making sure our writing fits in our niche and it fits the website. Mind you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is a time and a place for focused writing and growing a specific, niche website is most definitely one of those times.

The problem with super focused writing is that it can lead to seemingly running out of ideas. Running out ideas gets frustrating very quickly. And then comes the infamous writer’s block. GAH!

I’ve been there so many times thinking, ‘There is nothing to write about!!”

I think that is the biggest lie. There is ALWAYS something write about. Yes, always.

Yes, there is always something to write about even if that means writing about not having anything to write about. Click To Tweet

Remember when I wrote about learning to embrace writing garbage?

Here’s the truth in all of this. I’m going to throw you a bit of curveball especially now that you are finally comfortable writing garbage.

There really isn’t anything that is true garbage.

All the words we write have a purpose and should be written. Every word we write leads to something good even if it is merely getting the mind and fingers warmed up.

It all counts.

It isn’t truly garbage because even those words are important.

Why are they important?


Every word we write is good for processing our thoughts.

Every word we write is good for getting our brains and fingers warmed up to write the “good” stuff. It’s like a workout warmup. Are we going to say that the warmup is pointless or useless because it isn’t part of the actual workout? The warmup points to the good stuff.

So it is with daily writing.

Sometimes the “garbage” writing is only the first 100 words and then you are revved up and on a roll and can really get to writing. And then sometimes the “garbage’ is the whole day because you just aren’t feeling it. That’s okay.

Just keep writing about how you are feeling.

Write about how you aren’t sure what to write about.

Write about writer’s block.

Open your mind and fingers to write anything. Click To Tweet

And when we write anything that comes out and process the deep recesses of our mind we will find some pretty awesome words to share.

This writing can possibly benefit us in ways we never expected.

When I started daily writing I thought it would be the key to being a successful writer. A successful writer needs to write a lot over a long period of time. Okay, then. Write daily. Got it.

What I didn’t expect was the healing that has come from writing so much. I have allowed some things to come to the surface. I gave words to those thoughts and in so doing I have allowed myself to deal with it. I was able to write it out and let it go. You can read more in my post on The Unexpected Benefits of Writing 1000 Words a Day.

The world is full of things to write about.

We just need to open our eyes.

Become curious.



There is always something to write about.

Get to writing about everything!!






Stock Image Credit:

Journal Entry: Write Through The Pain


There are seasons when my emotions are so raw that I don’t know if I can even get the words down on paper.

The emotions are such that I just know that no one would ever want to read them because doing so would invite them to an extremely uncomfortable place.

I don’t want others to come into that place of discomfort and pain. That is my own personal space and perhaps in some ways, I am not proud of the raw and weak.

I tell myself that I need to lift people up and hold them up on a pedestal. I need to be their cheerleader and scream from the rooftops, “You rock! You are awesome! You CAN do this. You WILL do this.”

I tell myself that I need to be strong like a mountain.



Who wants to read the words of a mere dirt mound that flattens with the softest of breeze?

I am in a dark cave and I want someone to come sit with me and hear my words. But, I would never want anyone to be in this darkness. I don’t want to be in this darkness.

I am comforted by the presence of my Savior. He goes with me into the cave. He’s there when it’s dark and He is there when it is light. It is HIM who shines through the hole in the roof and shows me how to leave. He is the one who HOLDS me when I have no words to write or say.

But, there are times when I want to share with people.

I need to process through writing and just like any other person, I want to be heard and I want to be understood.

I think that my feelings are just too ugly to share with others and so I won’t write.

Then I am reminded that this whole writing thing is for ME, first and foremost. This is how I process the HOT MESS that is my mind. Writing makes this HOT MESS into a much more functional warm mess.

So, I write.

I write everything….no matter how painful or raw it is. I grab those emotions and bring them to the surface through the power of words. 

I write from a place of pain and struggle. I write as a girl who yearns for her HOME.

In a moment of insane courage and calling, I share my raw writings.

And guess what?

People read my words and they don’t run away! They actually draw closer. They start to slowly tiptoe into the cave with me.

I start to hear, “Me too!” and “I’m not alone?”

No. Oh my, no. You are not alone. I thought I was alone.

I am always reminded in these situations that I should embrace my pain and use it to fuel my writing.

Instead of running from the rawness, I lean in and allow myself to feel fully and then use that to fuel my words. And in so doing I am reaching out.

By going inward, I am, in reality, going outward. Click To Tweet

It’s just that this place, by its very nature, is a place that wants to be alone and is convinced that no one understands. But, the truth is that more people are in that place with me than I originally see.

By writing about it I am bringing validation to this place.

I make this place very real for me and for others. And by making it real I am creating a community.


Instead, like I said before, I lean into those feelings and I use them to fuel my writing. I don’t allow the HARD to make me stop or give up on my awesomeness.

Yes, this is hard. Sometimes I write through the tears. Can you tell? Those are the days when I force myself to write through the pain.

And most of the time, it is on those days that I am the most authentic and other people relate.

Moral of the Story:

We write from and through the pain. We use our pain to fuel our words and in so doing we share our souls. In sharing our souls we are authentic and vulnerable.

Our readers see exactly WHO we are.

The most peaceful life is the transparent life. Click To Tweet 

Many of the most famous writers and artists are the ones who didn’t consider their pain to be a liability but instead to be a muse for their work.

We should do the same.

Being human means there will be pain. It is time to stop avoiding it and instead using it for good.




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PInstead of running away from the pain, lean into it, and write through it. Great things can and will happen.

What To Do When Your Past Failures Keep Haunting You

I have stated in previous blog posts about how I have done a bunch of stuff in the past.

I am what many might call a “career shopper.” I have been a real estate agent, a personal trainer, a nutrition coach, a distributor for a direct sales company, a stenographer-in-training, etc. Oh, and I have Bachelor’s in History and a Master’s in Biblical Counseling.

The one thing that is common in all of these is that I have quit them all. One could even say that I failed.

I had all kinds of reasons for quitting. All those reasons seemed pretty legit when I told them to myself. I was convinced each and every time that I was making the right choice and that the next cool shiny thing was going to be THE most awesome career ever.

Do see the problem here?

Growing up, I was always told, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

No matter what career I went after, thinking the problem laid with not having the right career, I failed.

Why? Because the problem was with ME!!! I was the whole problem. It was my problems that kept me from being successful.

Stick with me here. There is wisdom to be gained from my failures.

I have had a dream to focus on writing for a very long time. That is what lit the fire within my soul.

Every time I had the inkling to start writing I would remember every other career I have gone after. I am reminded of all the money my husband and I have invested in these ventures only for the textbooks to be risers for my monitor.

Remembering all the past failures is paralyzing. 

Well, I’m writing to you right now. What changed?


I Admit To The Failures

It is what it is.

  • Yes, I absolutely failed in all these areas.
  • Yes, I wasted a butt ton of money.
  • Yes, I allowed my ego to get in the way and I did not seek professional coaching. I did not ask for help.
  • Yes, I did not own up to my weaknesses and ask for help.
  • Yes, I was lazy and spent too much time on social media, etc.

I confessed my failures to my husband and other people who invested in me only for me to throw it back in their faces. I confessed and I asked forgiveness.

I said, “I have royally messed up in XYZ. I have sinned against God, you, and myself. Please forgive me for squandering your money and your faith in me.”

I can’t change the past but I can bring it into the light so that it never happens again. Click To Tweet

I allow myself to feel all the emotions that go along with failing. It hurts. But there is healing when I allow the emotions to flow instead of stuffing them down.

Wallow for 3 seconds and then move on. That’s my motto now. 

Send the Reminders to Hell

Reminders of failure are just arrows shot from the pits of Hell.

Satan is the Father of Lies and He will use anything he can get his icy fingers on to keep me and you from fulfilling our destinies.

And trust me, reminding me of my past failures has been a very successful weapon against me. 

I wallowed in the lies that I was not worthy of good things because I had screwed up in all those other things before. I believed that since I messed up then there was no chance I could ever be successful. The success train had left the station and I missed my ride.

Those are all LIES.

In my path of healing, I am reminded that I am WORTHY and CAPABLE.

The very same people I hurt and failed, are the very ones who continue to speak LIFE over me. And THEY are the ones who have shown me how to send these lies straight to Hell.

I Am Not Mentored By My Past

It has taken me a long time to learn this one and it took a major mind switch to accept.

I am not mentored by my past. Click To Tweet

I am influenced by so many things in life. It can be a book, a TV show, a radio show, friends I keep, the church I attend, coaching I listen to, etc. Just about anything can influence how I live my life.

The amazing thing is that I can control how all these things influence me. I actually do have a say in this. I can choose whether or not to read that book or to watch that TV show or movie. I can also choose my friends.

If something is not helping me move towards my success then I can and will take that thing out of my life so that it can no longer influence me. It all comes down to choice.

There is an influence that sneaks in under the radar and this influence is probably the most powerful. Learning about this was a game changer for me.

My Past.

I was allowing my past failures and mistakes to influence my current actions. I was allowing those disappointments to keep me from moving forward.

By listening to the mentor of my past I was allowing it to influence me and convince me that I was not capable of success.

If I want different results, maybe I should do things differently!! *Mind Blown*

When I am haunted by the failures of my past, I tell myself that I am not mentored by my past. All those mistakes and failures are in the past where they will stay. I am doing something new.

When I am mentored by my past I am allowing my past mistakes to determine my future. Click To Tweet

Feedback, not Failure

A big part of moving forward is that I remind myself that there actually are no failures.

There’s just feedback.

  • Did I make poor choices?
  • How can I learn from those mistakes?
  • Where did I mess up?
  • What could I have done differently?

This is all very useful feedback that can make my future completely different.

It is not a failure. It is merely an experience that I can learn from and then change how I live now.

Feedback, not Failure. Click To Tweet


Finally, I keep accountability.

One huge mistake I made in the past is that I did not set up accountability for myself. I thought I was completely capable of doing all this by myself. My ego kept me on an island and that allowed me to go down a path of destruction. I silenced the good influencers in my life and I turned up the volume of the poor influencers.

Now, I keep a team of people who are willing to speak into my life and help me turn back on the right path when I’m veering off.

When my past failures want to creep back in and distract me I know I have a team of people who will help me recalibrate and get back on the right path.

While there have been a number of mind switches that have changed my life, I am still very human and I can’t do this all by myself. My accountability team keeps me humble and moving in the direction I need to go.

Ego kept me an island, humility built me a team. Click To Tweet





Stock Image Credit:
Luke Matthews

Take A Step Back To Grow


When I started this blog a mere three months ago, I had so many awesome plans and dreams.

I had pages and pages of ideas. I carried a notebook around in order to capture all my ideas that seemed to come faster than I could write them down. I went to bed thinking about my big goals and I woke up excited and thrilled to attack those goals each day.

Writing has always been my biggest objective in this whole endeavor. It’s no secret that I consider myself to be a writer before I am a blogger. I have formed the habit to write 1000 words a day in order to stay true to my writing passion, to create a steady stream of content, and to help me think and process this crazy life I live.

I originally set a goal to schedule three posts a week.

That would allow for two posts to go live each week and to put one post in the bank. I had a goal to keep a month’s worth of posts in the bank at all times. I learned a long time ago to always work ahead with blog posts to allow for days or weeks when life gets in the way or bigger projects take priority.

I’ve got the writing side of blogging down.

I also knew I needed to learn more about how to grow my blog through email subscribers, social media, etc. I’m not dumb. I do still believe and will always believe that writing comes first but there are realities in this world that have to be acknowledged. I can’t be a writer who keeps her head in the sand, refusing to learn SEO and marketing. That’s just how it is whether I like it or not.

Come to find out that there was not much margin in my week to keep up the writing load AND grow my blog.


I was growing frustrated and disillusioned.

And guess what? I stopped dreaming. The ideas for the blog stopped rolling in faster than my fingers could catch them. I hit a dead spot. Sure, I was writing and scheduling blog posts. I was doing minimal social media when I remembered to do it. But, there was no growth. It was stagnant and I was hating my blog.

And this pressure doesn’t even include where I needed in other areas of my life.

I am determined to make my writing and blogging work but I have been dazed and confused with how to make it all work.

And then it hit me. I was praying for guidance on how to keep writing and to also allow the margin for learning and growth. And what hit me was the last thing I thought possible. I knew in my gut that I needed to back off on posting my writing on the blog.

What? After all this talk about writing consistently, I am actually thinking about backing off a bit. This was crazy.

Now, this does not mean I stop my daily writing of 1000 words. Nope, that’s not stopping ever. It has become such a huge part of my daily routine and well-being.

I’m talking about reducing my blog post schedule down to one post a week and one post in the bank. That merely reduces my schedule down by one post a week. But, the difference is HUGE!

The sweet release that came from that simple decision has been mind-blowing.



It has been like shaking up a champagne bottle and then releasing the cork. The ideas and dreams and plans have been bubbling over ever since. I can’t keep up with all the bubbles that are spewing forth and I couldn’t be happier.

And now I have space in my schedule to dive headfirst into these ideas and I can commit time each week to learning as well. I can now do all those courses in the Genius Bloggers ToolKit I got this year and I can read ALL those ebooks I’ve been meaning to read.

The passion for my blog is BACK!!!!

How does this relate to you?

Are you feeling stuck? Do you want to grow but don’t think it’s possible?

Do you still dream big about your blog?

If the answer is yes, I encourage you to take an inventory of your writing and blogging.

Is there something that you are holding onto but it doesn’t really serve your big plan?

There comes a time when taking a step back is what’s needed to allow for growth. Click To Tweet

Space for growth does not magically appear. It has to be thoughtfully created.

I was putting such strong expectations on myself and those expectations turned out to be unrealistic. I kept going even when I knew they were unrealistic because I was determined to stick to my output goal. It was killing me and my creativity.

Come to find out that a little ego check was all that was needed for the big goal to be birthed in my heart and mind all over again.

What about you? Are you frustrated?

Try taking a step back so that there is room to grow and dream all over again.




Stock Image Credit:
Milos Tonchevski

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